After a month of trying out the house wife life, I definitely struggled. As a woman who lived alone and supported herself for 4 years, not working was a very abrupt change. I’ve never described myself as independent, but asking the Sailor for money was weird. It’s nice that we are able to do that as a couple, but it’s sad when my bank account has only money going out. When I received my last paycheck, it was a very sudden feeling of this is it, I’m unemployed. So after the honeymoon, I polished and updated my resume (with NEW name), contacted references and job searched. No matter what people say, don’t knock Craigslist for jobs. There are definitely some sketch as hell ads (like a nude maid or a sexy assistant), but there are ones with great potential as well. I applied to about 12 in one day and actually got responses within the week!
What I really wanted to talk about was a problem most military spouses that want to work have: Will the employer care if my spouse is in the military? Do they not want to invest their time in me because they think at any moment I could just up and leave? I know that military life is unpredictable, but shouldn’t they want to hire me no matter what? I got advice from multiple wives that I should be as vague as possible about my husband’s job or else I wouldn’t get hired anywhere. But after a while of worrying about “hiding” our military lifestyle by just saying the Sailor works for the government or he’s an engineer, I decided that if they don’t want to hire me because of my husband’s occupation, then fuck them. I had a few interviewers ask me why I moved to the area, and I would say because I got married. Their next question, even though technically inappropriate, would be is your husband in the military? I’m sure they were just asking to be polite, but subconsciously, it could affect their decision to hire me.
I don’t really think this whole dilemma is very fair, and honestly shouldn’t exist at all. Employers don’t ask men what their wives do, so why should it be okay for them to ask women what their husbands do? This lifestyle is difficult enough without making it harder to find a job than a normal spouse who moves to be with her husband. Luckily, I found a company that (despite my husband’s job) saw how much I was worth and were excited for me to join their team.
So what would you guys think? Would you hide your spouse’s occupation when applying for jobs or would you go balls to the wall? Have you not been hired because you’re a military spouse?